Today I feel tons better after spending most of yesterday resolving the major beef I had with God that stemmed from my time in a spiritually abusive church. For the longest time I felt like God did not see or hear, or didn’t care about the harm that the abuse caused me, and this caused me many spiritual, emotional, and physical problems–among them, fear of the loss of my salvation.

I had a wonderful night’s sleep after talking with my husband over all of this, and I tried his patience several times with my stubbornness. I wish I could recall all that we talked about, but the gist of it is this–that God does see everything that happens and he will repay those shepherds who abused the flock. What I need to do is to stay humble and let God be God and trust in him and continue to do right, like Joseph did, like many of the men and women of faith did, and not trouble myself with it. And yes, I am saved and need not fear anything.

Incidentally, I came across a great web resource called Battered Sheep Ministries, which addresses and deals with so many of the things that I went through. That was a big encouragement.

Bottom line, it took a long time of me wasting my time by being stubborn, demanding justice, etc., when I could have lived in peace in the Lord. No, it’s never easy when someone mistreats you, but I know how we are to respond as Christians–with love. It’s a big weight off my chest. And I know that I will not be a slave to fear of this sort again.  Praise God for his spirit of freedom!